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Good morning FS Friends
And so the journey continues. Bumped into a song I'd never heard before this morning. My goodness...I cried and cried. "Never Not Remember You" sung by Alan Cooper. I'm not an organised religion person, rather more a spiritual one that believes in a higher power and in living by the tenets that most world religions have in common. Nor am I country music fan, but this song resonated in a big way. As is typical, the Universe provided what I needed when I needed it.
That led me to go to my other box of memories. I have cards and mementos from my partner Paul who passed in 1997. Going through that box reminded me that yes, this raw pain has happened before, this horrible sense of loss and aloneness has happened before. It also reminded me that I was able to come out the other side to live another chapter of my life. (the song that resonated with me after Paul's passing was "End of the World by Skeeter Davis)
Music has always been part of how I process. In 2017 I met another gentleman, we became close, he passed in 2019. Although the relationship never progressed to as deep a level as with Paul and John, his passing led me to another song "Angel Standing By" sung by the hauntingly beautiful voice of Jewel.
There is no doubt that the John chapter was not linear. From friend, to fiance, to friend to closest companion and confidant. Round and round. I loved him fiercely, yet hated his alcohol use disorder and the problems it brought. In retrospect, he was a man who had suffered much abuse and hardship in his life and alcohol was his coping mechanism for it. Not substantially different from my use of food to numb emotion or as a reward.
And so it goes on. Learning more each day.
Over and out
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1159 kcal
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Fat: 42.07g | Prot: 96.98g | Carbs: 110.24g.
Breakfast: GNC Wheybolic Classic Vanilla, Orgain Organic Protein Plant Based Protein Powder Creamy Chocolate Fudge. Lunch: Piller's Turkey Bites, Kraft Classic Caesar Dressing, Egg, Everything Veggie Salad. Dinner: Costco Corn on The Cob, Flour Tortillas , Cooked Asparagus (from Fresh), Home burger patty. Snacks/Other: Cantaloupe (Muskmelon), Pineapple . more...
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