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I have been struggling with a swift and severe depression. In spite of or perhaps because of it, I am still losing weight. I woke up this morning and stepped on the scale and found myself at a nice, round 164 pounds. This is the lowest I've been in quite some while. I think it's still two pounds higher than my midsummer low in 2012, but given that it's nearly the middle of December, I'll take it -- especially since right now, between the depression and the winding down of the semester and the getting out of the house less, I am riding the bike less.
I get a lot of my exercise by doing housework these days. I suppose it is a blessing that I'm not much good at sitting still.
Sometimes I think I am starting to see the weight loss. Sometimes I think it's completely invisible. There are days like the day before yesterday when I feel like I look heavier than I ever have. This is what remains of my eating disorder: intrusive thoughts and the inability to see my body as it is. I wish I could. I wish I could see myself as Denis does.
Anyway, I have a ton of stuff to do today, so I will close here. Tomorrow is my last final, Chem. Once that's done I just have to whack together a bunch of stuff for my Research Methods and Statistics class and turn it in by Friday evening and this semester is complete.
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