Happy*Snappy's Journal

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23 December 2017

whoo hoo a loss !!! Finally. Christmas is coming and I'm prepared with sugar free fudge. Not something I am used to having around. I made all the treats for everyone else and haven't had a problem resisting them so far. I did have to put the potato chips away but once they were out of sight I seemed to be ok. I had two boiled eggs and a little mayo for breakfast and a hot dog for lunch with cloud bread and steak with some brussel sprouts for dinner - not a bad food day at all I'd say. I spent most of it running around like crazy so there really wasn't time to stress about food choices. I am looking forward to a piece of fudge tomorrow though. My blood sugars stayed under 90 all day! Whoot whoot! ☺

Weight:	Lost so far:	Still to go:	Diet followed:
125.5 kg	27.1 kg	43.4 kg	Reasonably Well

(5 comments) Losing 0.3 kg a Week

10 December 2017

I so wanted something sweet the last few days. Not a physical craving like when I first started lchf but a mental thing. That inner voice that says : Wow, I really miss the creamy sweetness of those Oatmeal creme filled cookies. You know - the HUGE double decker, 500 calorie - no redeeming nutritional value - prepackaged, hydrogenated science experiments? Yea! One of those.

We had gone on an egg run and stopped for a break. The place we usually go had just sold the last of their supply so on to the next option! So, right outside the bathroom was a display of donuts and other sweets and I seriously considered it. That voice wasn't loud but it sure was insistent. Then the numbers started running through my head...500 calories, 56 g of carbs, what would that cookie do to my blood sugar - 250? 260? 300? So not worth ruining what I've spent the last 6 months working so hard to accomplish.

I realize one cookie isn't going to destroy me but I know myself well enough to know -- that's how it starts. If it's ok this time why not next time? I've done really well the last six months so I deserve a treat! I do and I had that awesome experience buying pants that are 5 sizes smaller than when I started. That was my treat - that silly cookie isn't worth the high blood sugar and the myriad damage it does to my body, the nausea from all that sugar, the feeling like crap about what is obviously not a healthy food choice and the thought that the little voice got to me.

I see that voice as the old me...... the one who ate what she wanted, when she wanted and to hell with the long term consequences. The one who eats for reasons other than hunger. She's not liking some of the choices I'm making but she'll live longer and healthier if I keep her voice quieted. She will feel better too. I know she knows that too - she just hasn't completely accepted that this is our life now.......MY life now...... there is no going back.

This is a battle I've been engaged in for years. Sometimes it's not what you're eating - it's what's eating you! Amen to that!

Weight:	Lost so far:	Still to go:	Diet followed:
126.1 kg	26.5 kg	44.0 kg	Reasonably Well

(9 comments) Losing 3.2 kg a Week

08 December 2017

It was a rough morning today! i have been trying not to use my diuretic too much so I was expecting a gain..... but ...... dog gone it! 4 #!!!!!

Then I almost tumbled down the stairs because my pants are sooo long...... for some reason the looser they get the longer they seem to be. Or maybe it's just that I never saw how long they were because I couldn't see past my belly!

I stopped at Lane Bryant today ..... I have avoided going to stores because I hate trying stuff on and having to order it because they don't carry my size. It is embarrassing and depressing......I hate it, hate it, hate it!! I grabbed some jeans 2 sizes down from what I was wearing when this all started and headed for the dressing room ..... not looking forward to three sets of mirrors glaring at me. It's hard to lie to yourself when you see that reflection convicting you of your choices.

I tried them on and sat down. The lady came by to see if I needed anything. When I handed her the other jeans and asked for a smaller size my hands were shaking. She brought me the next two sizes. After an hour of back and forth we got it figured out.

I sat in that dressing room and sobbed. I ended up buying jeans that are 5 sizes smaller than when I started 6 months ago.

If you want to freak people out have a complete breakdown in a dressing room!!

I haven't worn jeans in years ... mainly because I wasnt comfortable buying a 30 or 32. I stuck with yoga pants because 3xs that fit tight sounds better and didn't make me feel quite as enormous as I had let myself get - regardless of how they looked. They were also very forgiving if I gained a few pounds. I'm going home to throw them away.

I also did something today that I always said I'd never do. I bought a pair of jeans in a size smaller than what I'm currently in. Before I never wanted to tempt fate. TO HELL WITH FATE! Fate no longer has a place here. Choices....my choices. Every day. Every meal. My body - My rules (thank you so much for that rallying cry - it's been a God send for me every day).

Someone commented awhile back that they found it motivating to have someone tell them or act like they couldn't accomplish what they had set out to do. I'm with you 100% on that. I dare anyone to give me that 'we'll see' look. I DARE you.

I may be a chaotic mess but dammit I'm a chaotic mess moving closer to my goals!

Weight:	Lost so far:	Still to go:	Diet followed:
127.0 kg	25.6 kg	44.9 kg	Reasonably Well

(11 comments) Gaining 1.4 kg a Week

29 November 2017

yea!!!! Thanksgiving went really well - I cooked loads of high carb foods and wasnt bothered by it at all. I had fun watching everyone devouring what I'd made and actually enjoyed my coleslaw, brussel sprouts, cloud bread and turkey. I didn't overeat, didn't feel bloated and was totally rocking my blood sugars! Nothing over 90 since.

Today was a totally munchie "hungry" day though. I stayed on plan (thank Goodness) but have to admit I ate all day. Tuna salad, Arby's Italian sub (2 of those - no bread of course - but one really should have been enough 🙀). Then scrambled eggs and cloud bread for dinner. What totally threw me off was the Lilly's choc bar .....ouch ... one serving and my blood sugar zoomed up to 102 before bed. Not a trend I want to continue. The sad part is that it didn't taste as good as I thought it would or remember it tasting.

Well, now I know.

Weight:	Lost so far:	Still to go:	Diet followed:
125.2 kg	27.4 kg	43.1 kg	Reasonably Well

(4 comments) Losing 1.4 kg a Week

24 November 2017

turkey samwhich and coleslaw

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