Shannon1743's Journal

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03 September 2010

I went to the doctor today to post-bariatric surgery clinic. What an eyeopener... I had surgery 5 years ago and have never been seen in this clinic. It seems that I was inbetween their old and new systems and just kinda missed something. Anyway, I had a bunch of bloodwork done in early August and it came back that I am anemic and have very low calcium and vitamin d. I learned today that calicum is what is responsible for your heart contracting... it's not just strong bones and teeth! I am actually at risk of a heart attack if I let this continue!! That is scary! I also learned all kinds of other great stuff for helping me get my body REALLY healthy. My cholesterol is more than perfect, my glucose is great (diabetes runs in my family), my blood pressure is awesome and overall he said I am in pretty good health other than the few deficiencies. I am excited to have the new info and some great tips for maximizing the surgery and also feeling better.

On another note, the other members of my family and household are getting healthier too. Hubby made his first goal to be able to get on the Wii Fit yesterday and my roommate has lost over 25lbs too. Her daughter, the 9 year old that has really struggled, has gotten a grip on her eating and is making great progress, my 14 year old is takinng control of her eating. I have stopped letting my 3 year old snack except once a day and only offer him healthy options for meals. He is eating better and trying new things too! YEAH!! Today feels like a step in the right direction. I so needed a day like today.

Looking forward to many more positive days to come.

(4 comments)

02 September 2010

This journey just keeps taking more and more twists and turns. I am starting to wonder if that saying "God only gives you what you can handle" is actually true? Part of me is feeling like enough is enough and I can't take one more crazy emotional minute or stressful day. On the other hand though, I am feeling stronger today. I decided yesterday that it was time to go to therapy. I am NOT a huge fan of therapy, not for myself anyway. I have always had the philosophy that my past just made me who I am and I am happy with my life, my family, etc. What I have been denying is that my past has shaped how I react to things and how I feel about things too. I lived a really traumatic childhood filled with domestic violence, alcholic parents, abuse, etc. and I have always been determined to make my life better and I have. I married an amazing man, have 3 beautiful kids, and overall a pretty damn good life. Yet, I still feel crappy inside... WTF? So I think I am at the point in my life where I am ready to take a giant leap and open the door to the past and clean that s**t out! Once and for all, face it, acknowledge its place in my PAST, and move beyond it. Admitting that I need someone to help me through this process is not easy for me.

Since finding this site and starting to lose weight again in July, the weight loss part has been pretty good (about 26 lbs down) and it has been fairly easy. I have been dealing with ALOT of stuff during this time but I haven't eaten over it. That is a huge deal for me as I am a bigtime emotional eater. Yesterday when I left the evaluation appointment for therapy, there is a Jack in the Box in the parking lot. For the first time since July, I actually had this very strong urge to drive through and stuff myself full of food. I had to really talk myself out of it and it was difficult. :( It kind of scared me to feel that feeling again as it has been dormant for a while now. I am glad I was able to win over the feeling but that was just the evaluation appointment. I am a little bit scared to see what feelings will be triggered when therapy actually begins...

For today though, I am optimistic.

(6 comments)

02 September 2010

Weight:	Lost so far:	Still to go:	Diet followed:
117.6 kg	12.2 kg	33.7 kg	Reasonably Well

Add Comment Losing 1.5 kg a Week

31 August 2010

It has been an absolutely emotionally crazy last 5 days. My daughter turned 14 on Saturday on the heels of us finding out she is going through all kinds of "teenage" stuff. She appears to be the perfect kid and on the inside is just hiding all of her stress and feelings. :( I have felt like a complete failure as a parent and have been so sad. We went through the weekend having her birthday party and pretending all is well and finally got into an appointment with a therapist this morning. I have so many mixed up feelings. It is just overwhelming to think of my baby girl hurting so badly.

I have not really eaten over things but I have definiately lost the drive and motivation I had. I don't feel like giving up on myself but I don't feel like trying either. I haven't felt like cooking or really doing much of anything as far as me. I guess I am feeling depressed and sad and just too many emotions. I am sure it will pass and I will get motivated again but for now I am just feeling kinda stuck in this spot.

(2 comments)

28 August 2010

Weight:	Lost so far:	Still to go:	Diet followed:
118.7 kg	11.1 kg	34.7 kg	Reasonably Well

Add Comment Losing 1.9 kg a Week

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