losing weight is a state of mind. one that you need to adopt.
anytime you are about to put something in your mouth that you don't really need. STOP. one day at a time.
if you want to actually drop weight instead of gain or stay the same, i recommend NO sugar, no starches, nothing white. no bread or pasta or rice! eat protein and fruits and veg. make big salads. lots of romaine hearts, with tomato some button mushrooms, cucumber and green pepper... sit back and eat it! it might suck, but i promise the results are well worth it.
i read your intro, and you know what... you're right. living in north america at an "ideal body weight" is considerably more rewarding than being overweight. your own feelings of pride and happiness, not to mention health benefits will blow you away.
don't give up on yourself!