Waiting on an angel's Journal, 26 Sep 08

I used to threaten to divorce my husband if he didn't do what I wanted. I expected him to always be around. He promised he would be. Things got really negative btwn us at the time he was going thru midlife crisis. He left me for a co-worker because she made him feel 'happy' and I was too 'argumentative.' Friday night was our normal date night - always the same thing, dinner, but I always enjoyed it. What I wouldn't do for the oppty to go out to dinner with him tonite but he's off having fun with her AND our kid. I wouldn't wish this pain on you. You don't know how divorce feels until you are in it. It doesn't reduce pain - it makes it worse. Go to marriage counseling, see your pastor, whatever you need to do to try to work it out. Then, think about your options. Trust me: you don't have any guarantees of getting a better companion. Don't ask him to take you on a date, but work on being someone he'd want to take out, and see what happens. 

Thank you for the advice..It's not always us fighting...when we're together we usually do have a good time...I think the fact that we don't live together right now is making me upset, and a bit insecure. I've asked to go to counseling but he refuses...I am considering just going myself for a bit, then asking him to go again. I really do want this to work out, it just seems that lately he doesn't. He promised me after our date last night he'd make time this week to talk about it. Thank you again... 

i couldn't help but read your journal. when my husband and i first got married i bought a book called "becoming the woman of his dreams" by sharon jaynes. i kind of bought it as a joke gift for him, but 5 years later i have actually started reading it. it gave me a lot of insight into why our husbands act like they do sometimes, and the ways we can positively react to them. that book has in a sense changed our marriage, and he didn't even know i had started to read it. i wish the best of luck to you, and will hold many prayers up for you guys in the coming weeks ahead. 

It is so dangerous giving advice on line to people you dont know but it can be so hard this feelin you are on yr own. YOU remind me of mysel and I also think you are a bit like I was in my marriage, I suggested things, and usually got a shrug, r I forgot or I did not think it was that important, because I did not stress how important it was to me. Also MEN cant understand the importance of Birthdays to Woman. Its outside their realm of understanding. I agree with all above but if he feels forced into anything, that will be the end of ye. Marriage is a 2 way thing. You TELL him you have plans made for yr birthday or ask him straight out What are his plans for yr birthday, So you can arrange time off Blah Blah. Like Annelynn my x had affairs with our staff, my PALs, but I dont agree about working on some1 he'd want to take out, He's your Husband, he loves you, otherwise he would never had commited himself to you. Money must be very tight right now and thats such a strain, No matter what, Men will never lose the "Me HUNTER and PROVIDER" feeling and its extra strain on any relationship. I havent dated in yrs, my trust is gone, but I prefer this loneliness on my own, than the loneliness of my marriage. You work on caring for yrself and things will work out. You stay journaling and if you feel any of the people out there understand how you really feel send them a private msg. HUGs and Kisses to you