vb_val's Journal, 26 Feb 19

Muffin top for sure!! 

I loathe taking pix, but i heard so many ppl say if you are serious, you are going to want pix. They are right!! Good for you and wishing you well on the journey! 

Yes take pictures so you will be able to see how far you've come. That's great  

Thank you for the encouragement, I dreaded taking these pics too but let’s hope it will help with this whole process. 

I wish I’d have done that in my jeans. However the jeans I wanted to wear wouldn’t go over my thighs 😭. I looked just like this in my size 8 jeans I bought when I was sick of wearing yoga pants. Almost a year later I’m in a size 2! I haven’t been in a 2 since I was in high school! (Other than when Mom got sick and passed and I kept so busy so I wouldn’t think about it constantly. I could fit 0-1 then but was sickly.) I’m a cancer survivor myself. TNBC dx after a preventative double mastectomy 11/2/16 and finished chemo 3/27/17. No rads thankfully. I too ate a lot of starchy foods as that and sweets were the only things that I could keep down or tasted normal. Welcome to FS!  

Rock On VB!  

Peeperjj - nice to meet a sister survivor! I'm sure glad you had the preventative double mastectomy or you might not have found it until later. I found mine almost an entire year before I was officially diagnosed doing a self exam! But I had several doctors and radiologists tell me it was just dense tissue after looking at it on ultrasound and mammograms. Finally after 10 months I insisted on an MRI (actually God woke me up in the middle of the night and told me not to listen to the doctors anymore and act fast) the results came back as Rad5 which meant 95% likely to be cancer.. a biopsy confirmed it. (DCIS ER/PR+) By this time the mass was 7 cm by 4 cm in size!!! This was why I had to have chemo then surgery and radiation. You are an inspiration! I hope to be back down to a small size (the jeans are size 5) like you very soon. I was 107 pounds when I got married but I don't plan on being that thin again... I was very young with no babies yet. I think between 115 and 120 would be a perfect weight for me now, I'm 5'5". Thanks for your encouragement and kindness! Good health and blessings to you and yours!!  

Blessings to you as well! I’m glad they found yours before it was any bigger. That’s a big mass! My three were tiny; 2mm, 6mm and 7mm with the last still contained in the duct, all on the right side. The kids think I’m odd sometimes because I’ll randomly feet a pain or odd sensation and will immediately do an ‘exam’. More of just feeling around on the implant. I don’t do it when in public of course but its my couch and if I want to check there then I will lol. My memory stinks so I check when I think about it rather than wait. So far it’s just nerve regeneration I guess. As for mine I had the same feeling. I put it all off and my Obgyn basically said I was an idiot lol. Started with the hysterectomy in May and he said he’d get me recommendations in a couple weeks. It took longer and I didn’t even get to meet the PS and BS until around August. Then a mammogram, waiting until they both had an opening and insurance. By July all I felt was anxiety and dread. I felt that I’d be too late. I was in a sense. I already had cancer. I tell everyone who asks and some that don’t that God or one of my loved ones in heaven sent me those feelings and the urgency. They wanted to put it off until the next year but I insisted we get it done. I was ‘lucky’.  

I also was trying to get in my size 5/6 jeans. The newer western kind that barely have any stretch in them. Now it’s like an addiction. I’m afraid of eating too much for fear of gaining weight. It’s more when I see the numbers. I still love food so I don’t have a disorder or anything. Taking breaks to eat at maintenance helped a lot. As soon as I get below my teenager in weight I’ll start building muscle and the scale will go up some. She so wants to be taller than me so I told her I’d get her weight or lower before she grew that last 1/4”. She will probably beat me lol. Good luck on your journey! Lots of fun supportive people on the site/app!